Sunday, April 30, 2006 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jesus,
I will remember the times when You have been so close to me, I will remember Your promises.
Honestly, I don't know how and why You would want to use someone like me.
I'm seeing my bad character resurface and so many more of my weaknesses stare me in the face.
I can't even do simple things well.
I don't even know how to share the gospel properly.
I feel like such a loser.

I don't feel Your presence, God.
But I know this does not mean You are not here for me.
Though this period of time is hard, You have sent many people to encourage me.
I guess it's Your different way of showing me Your love through the silence.
Please don't let this silence last too long, God.
I'm afraid I'll crack.

"Yet I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; O LORD, do not delay."


Though I know there are so many reasons I see why You shouldn't use someone like me,
I do want You to use me.
You said before that You can make something beautiful out of something ugly.
You said that You will bring me to the place You promised.
I know I am part of something bigger than myself.
I trust in You, God, because I know that no matter how many times I've failed, You will still pick me up. You will still love me.

I will fight for you
I will see you through
By the power of My Spirit, says the Lord

I will remember Your promises.
Make me more like You, Jesus, change me.
You said that, during this period of time, my fears will be magnified and my faith will be stretched,
but You will show me many things.
God, help me stand strong during this wilderness.
Help me never to bring shame to Your name.
I love You, Lord, remember me.
I love You, Lord, so much.

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Eveline pops at |3:45 PM|